STEVEN ANTHONY KING

Certified Relationship Coach

Words To Live By In a Healthy Relationship - Word of the Day: “Effort"

Word of the Day:  “Effort”….1. energy: mental or physical energy that is exerted in order to achieve a desired purpose.  ”I wish they'd put a little more effort into it.”

For all those who are achieving the desired purpose of their relationship, you already know the “effort” it took to get there.

Happiness in a relationship is a direct result of the effort put forth by “both” people in that relationship. 

In order to maintain that feeling of infatuation that comes along with a new relationship, effort must continuously be put forth.

Complacency can be the arch enemy of people who have been in relationships for an extended period of time.  It causes predictable, mundane routines that people go along with; not because they really want to but because they feel a sense of obligation to. 

What Tina and I have learned is that you can’t expect things to remain the way they were in the beginning and you shouldn’t want them to.  Relationships (as are people) are naturally yearning to evolve; and when you don’t put forth the effort needed to cultivate that evolution, the growth is stunted and that’s where the conflict starts.

Effort has a reciprocating effect; the more you put forth, the more results you see, which means you want to put forth more effort so you can see more results; and on and on and on.

So remember today to give yourselves an “E” for effort….because whatever you want out of your relationship if you put forth the effort you will truly live the life of a Complete Chocolate Couple.

Live Long and Love Life!!!

Steven Anthony King
Certified Relationship Coach
Complete Chocolate Couples Inc.

Words To Live By In A Healthy Relationship - Word Of The Day: "Patience"

Word of the Day: “Patience”….”Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” - John Quincy Adams

Tina and I have learned that in our relationship there are no problems….just situations…and depending on how we handle the situations, determine whether they become problems or not. 

The worst thing that a couple can do, when faced with adversity, is act off of impulse.  Impulsive action is the result of faithless, fear based, irrational decisions that almost never work out. 

The first thing that Tina and I do when faced with a volatile situation is pray; that allows us to practice patience and get spiritually centered.  Once our spirits are centered, then our perception of the “situation” becomes much more optimistic and the mountain returns to a mole hill.  We are then able to make better decisions and better decisions produce better outcomes.

Now of coarse this doesn’t happen all the time, but the more we practice patience, the less  we have to deal with difficulties.

So remember to practice patience in your relationship and you will enjoy life as a Complete Chocolate Couple should.

Steven Anthony King
Certified Relationship Coach
Complete Chocolate Couples Inc.

 

 

 

 

Words To Live By In A Healthy Relationship - Word Of The Day: "Encouragement"

In relationships, it’s very easy to tell your partner what they’re “not” doing right; what we don’t realize is that although our intentions may be of genuine concern, criticism will only spawn a negative or defensive reaction.  No one wants to feel like they can’t do anything right. 
A far more effective way to obtain the result you want from your partner is a simple word of “encouragement”.  Instead of always harping on what they don’t do….tell them how much you appreciate it when they do it.  For example, if your husband or boyfriend has stopped being romantic the way he use to; instead of boldly stating “you’re not as romantic as you used to be”…. you can easily say “honey, I love it when you’re romantic; it really makes me feel special”….”my big, strong, fine, hunk-a-man”.  Ok, the last part might be a bit much but you get the point. J 

Remember, “encouragement” and criticism both go a long way….it just depends on what direction “you” want to go in.

So always encourage your partner and you’ll live like a Complete Chocolate Couple should.

Steven Anthony King
Certified Relationship Coach
Complete Chocolate Couples Inc.

 

 

 

Words To Live By In A Healthy Relationship - Word Of The Day: "Forgiveness"

Word of the Day: "Forgiveness"....1 Corinthians 13:5 “Love,….it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Forgiveness doesn't let the other person off the hook....it frees you from holding on to useless resentments that do nothing but rob you of positive energy!!! You can't drive forward looking in the rear view mirror....you'll crash!!!

Let go of your resentments, move on and enjoy your relationship like a Complete Chocolate Couple should!!!

Steven Anthony King
Certified Relationship Coach
Complete Chocolate Couples Inc.

Words to Live By In a Healthy Relationship - Word of the Day: “Commitment”]

Word of the Day:  “Commitment”…. “Individual commitment to a group effort…that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work”. - Vince Lombardi

“For better or for worse”??? 

In today’s society, it’s all too common for people to enter into marriage with an “opt out” clause or better yet, a “when the going gets tough….I’m out” clause.  This mentality effectively nullifies the vow of….or commitment to “for better or for worse”.

We all dream of having that perfect marriage like Cliff and Clair Huxtable; but the reality is most marriages are not like that (at least right away).  Once the honeymoon wears off, marriage brings on a plethora of challenges that can be extremely taxing emotionally.  But when the commitment is solid there’s a comforting sense of confidence that “we” will get through it (whatever “it” may be).

Commitment, however takes a concentrated effort of mental conditioning.  You must first get rid of the reservation (if he or she does this or that then I’m out).  From my own personal experience with past relationships, holding onto this type of reservation only weighed me down with fear based, negative anticipation.  I was unable to fully commit because I always had this sense of “impending doom” for the relationship.  It was like waiting for the right moment to jump into double-dutch ropes laced with razor blades.  I had a saboteur’s mentality and acted as such; my relationships were pretty much over from the start, it was just a matter of time.

In the four years that my wife and I have been married, life has gifted us with some serious, challenges; but because of our commitment to let no situation put asunder (or put us under); our marriage continues to grow stronger.

True commitment is rooted in love and “Love….always perseveres”!!!  (1 Corinthians 13:7) 

Steven Anthony King
Certified Relationship Coach
Complete Chocolate Couples Inc.

Words To Live By In a Healthy Relationship Word of the Day: “Communication”

Word of the Day: “Communication”…. 1. exchange of information: 4. rapport: a sense of mutual understanding and sympathy.    A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).      • Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).
What do you call a relationship with no communication?  A disaster!!!

Although we speak the same language, in relationships, it can be quite challenging to get our point across.   Communication is much more than just putting words together….it’s also the plate of emotion that the words are served on.  Communication requires an “art of delivery”….how you say what you say will determine if your partner is receptive to it or not.

It’s often been said that “honesty without compassion is brutality” and that’s where the “sympathy” part of the definition has to come in.  Even though what you say may be the truth….if you’re delivering it like a brick being thrown at your partner then good luck with getting your point across.  Words should always be delivered as if you were giving a gift…. because everyone loves to receive gifts.

Another major factor causing conflict in relationships is a total lack of communication.  As the definition states, communication is an “exchange of information”….the whole “he should know”, “she should know”, mindreading thing doesn’t work.  If you want someone to know exactly how you feel, I suggest you don’t insinuate or beat around the bush; just tell them…. but remember the “art of delivery”.

The challenge in communicating usually stems from the simple fact that we all don’t communicate the same way.  How we were raised and what we were exposed to as children plays a major role in how we communicate today.  But even though we have different methods of communicating, the joy of the journey is in finding that common ground with your partner.  That’s when you know you are growing as a couple.

So always communicate with your partner in a loving and caring way and you will live life together like a Complete Chocolate Couple.

Steven Anthony King
Certified Relationship Coach
Complete Chocolate Couples Inc.

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